A new year is among us and like most of you I plan on making some changes for the betterment of my life and well-being. To start, I want to write more and journal more on this platform that I began so long ago. Today I went through some of my old journal entries on here and fell in love with writing and sharing all over again.
The past year I have been trying to figure out how to live more self aware. I have not been gentle with myself and I have not been showing myself the love I deserve. At the end of 2018, shortly after my Sistar Circle event I began to distant myself from the things that truly brought me joy. It wasn't intentional nor was I truly aware of it until recently. In becoming aware of it I was able to see clearly that I was not living for myself which resulted in me getting lost in how others viewed me rather than who I truly am at the core of my being. I was living for the betterment of them and the relationship I had with them instead of living for the betterment of myself and allowing joy and love to lead me.
In 2019, I am not doing that any longer.
I am living each day as my authentic self and if there is someone in my life that takes offense to that or disagrees with me or my actions they will be removed from my life. At the end of the day, you need people in your corner that truly loves and admires who you are outside of their own judgments and needs of you.
In addition to this change, this year I will go after what I truly desire and deserve in life. For so long I have been holding myself back from following a dream, a job, a hobby, etc because I was too afraid of failing at it. I began something and didn't finish it or I had a great idea to start something and never got around to actually starting it. I was letting fear dictate every move I made or did not make in life. 
Realizing that fear and the fear of failure will always be there allowed me to figure out how to overcome it. Understanding that by trying you are succeeding in a way is how I will continue to look at fear this year. You cannot fail if you do not try. You cannot learn from your mistakes if you do not try. You cannot overcome those mistakes if you do not try. I am going after whatever I want as long as it fills me and God guides me to it and I am going after it with an overstanding that there is a lesson to be learned and growth to come from it..
I look forward to sharing more with you this year. I look forward to the growth we will have together. I look forward to the shifts and changes we will go through together. I look forward to what 2019 will bring. Let's kick ass!
- patience tamarra
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