I have been away from this platform for way too long. There is no excuse other than I have just been neglectful of it. So we'll skip the apologizes and the self-loathing for now and just jump into this.
First, I hope you all are doing well-- living vibrant lives, following your dreams, manifesting abundance in all areas of your life and creating healthy relationships. I am not. For a while I was doing great at caring for myself, making intentional decisions to better my life and vibrating to a higher version of myself, but as of late all of this seems so far away from me.
I have been sleeping through the mornings on my days off. I have not been very productive. I am not very motivated. I am falling into social media comparisons. I don't feel worthy of love. I have been eating horribly. I spend more time on my phone than reading books. I currently have little money in my bank account. My credit card bill is out of hand and I am barely scrapping up enough coins to get by day to day. However, overall I am still making do although I am just barely getting by. I also have not been making intentional decisions when it comes to relationships, spending (obviously as noted above) and in general I just have not been putting effort and time into the things that actually matter to me like writing.
Today, I am tired of being this version of myself because she is not the woman I know I am capable of being. She is not meeting up to expectations. She is not motivated to go after her dreams. She is letting herself down and that feeling is indescribably crippling for me. Before this rut I'm in was a thing I was getting things done. My creativity was flowing. I was meeting amazing people who I look up to. I believed in myself. That is what has changed. I am no longer believing in myself the way I once did. So how do I now move forward with a different attitude although my circumstances are the same? How do I move forward with positive thoughts and reassurance leading the way?
If you are going through this same rut, here are a few things to consider:
You could very well be mildly depressed.
Depression is something that can seem so cliche these days, but more of us are suffering from it than we think. Depression is a mental illness that can be triggered by something as simple as your daily stressors. There are many resources to help you deal with depression. I suggest finding a therapist or psychiatrist (I will be doing this myself this week) immediately or calling a help line to reach someone who can help you navigate through what you are feeling.
Maybe a break from social media would be helpful.
While social media is a great way to connect with people and share your gifts/talents with the world, it can be detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being. Instagram is about the only social media platform I use daily and I can easily find myself knee deep in comparisons and self-loathing when I'm on there. Taking a break from social media has helped me re-ground myself and rid away of some of the brain fog. I usually try to take a day to social media fast every week. It can be hard, but if you are disciplined enough and keep yourself busy with other task it is possible. Try scheduling out your day so that you have little to no down time to be on your phone.
Writing down your thoughts is always good.
Taking some time to reflect and write down your thoughts can help you make sense of it all. I usually like to free-write when I am feeling a bit down. Free-writing is just what it sounds like--you allow yourself to write freely without a topic or prompt. It allows you to truly pour all of your thoughts and emotions onto paper so that later you can reflect on it and figure out what you were/are feeling and how you can move forward and learn from it instead of allowing it to consume you.
Take a break from life and be in nature.
Being in nature is the easiest way to feel grounded and to connect with your higher self. If you can, leave your phone home or just out of reach and truly immerse yourself into nature. Take a few mindful breaths and just look around. See the beauty that surrounds you daily that you may not appreciate on the day to day. Take your shoes off and ground your feet into the earth. Feel the soil between your toes. Feel rooted in the earth. Know that you are never alone. Be grateful in that moment. Feel loved in that moment. Feel free in that moment.
There are so many more things that can help you but for now let's start here. Use some time today to begin your journey of coming home to yourself. Quiet all the noise around you and go within. Everything you need already lives within you. Have faith in your intuition.
I am sending you so much love and light as you take this first step to healing. You are never alone.
-Patience Tamarra
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